Mr. Sloth’s Reply
PLAYED BY BILLY VAN
OTHER HUMAN CHARACTERS
PUPPETS IN STARRING ROLES
OTHER CASTLE WEIRDOS
Dr. Pet Vet, as his name suggests, is a veterinarian. Played by Billy Van, this sketch is another show staple, with an installment in every episode. Dr. Pet Vet is a dedicated animal lover whose missions in life are to help animals and to spread the message of love and respect for all living things. Among his favourite sayings are “Everything is beautiful, in its own way.” (coincidentally the title of a 1970 Ray Stevens #1 hit song), and of course his signature phrase, “Pets are friends.” Dr. Pet Vet appears in a light green medical frock with matching little hat, a forehead mirror (sans mirror), stethoscope, and glasses. He has a cheerful nonthreatening face, with big fat cheeks and pudgy nose, and white frizzy hair. The Dr. Pet Vet sketches start with Igor sitting in front of the table in the castle foyer, wondering out loud where the doctor is and usually checking his beat up alarm clock-on-a-chain. The doctor then makes a timely entrance, showing us what today’s animal is (always a small animal that might make a decent pet — no elephants or cobras here). Most common are dogs (just about every exotic breed there is), with the odd cat, bird, snake, frog, turtle, and salamander. Dr. Pet Vet has also brought along a couple of small monkeys, a woodchuck, a donkey, and a small alligator at different times. He has never brought any fish though (the tank would be a little much to carry I guess). The doctor introduces the animal to Igor and lets him fawn for a moment or two, then proceeds to educate us on the background of this particular animal or breed. He tells us where it is from, any special abilities it has, what it requires for food, living space, etc.
Then, the kind gentleman that he is, he offers the critter to Igor as a pet. What happens next is as predictable as clockwork. For some unexplained reason, whether Igor can keep a pet or not is not up to him, but to the three-toed sloth that lives in the dungeon just off the foyer. Apparently the sloth doesn’t like competition though, so when Igor asks if the pet can stay for “a couple days” the reply…
Mr. Sloth’s Reply
…is always strong and definite. This starts Igor sulking and sobbing, and sends Dr. Pet Vet on his way for another day, but not before he reminds again of his motto by flashing the button on his frock: Pets Are Friends.
In many of the sketches Dr. Pet Vet himself does not actually appear. He calls up Igor on the castle phone and tells him he can’t make it, and just about then the castle doorbell rings announcing the arrival of a pet by messenger. Igor fetches the animal and does the whole sketch himself — he reads the animal info from a piece of paper sent with the pet, takes the call from Dr. Pet Vet saying he can keep the animal, then takes the sloth’s rejection and says goodbye to Dr. Pet Vet.
PetVet’s Opening Theme and Intro
PetVet’s Opening Theme and Intro 2
Vincent — PetVet’s Introduction 1
Vincent — PetVet’s Introduction 2
PetVet — “Technicolour Canary”
PetVet — “Bwana knows more...”
PetVet — “Remember Igor...”
PetVet — “Give your pet a hug”
PetVet — “The show is over”